This was the second 'live' album released by Adge Cutler & The Wurzels, originally released in early October 1967 as a 12" vinyl LP on the Columbia record label. It was initially released in mono only (catalogue number SX6165). It was subsequently repressed in mono between 1973 and 1979 with a stereo pressing issued in 1976 (SCX6165) accompanied by a cassette tape version. A release on CD was made in 2009. Song Lyrics
Soon after the first album by Adge and his Wurzels was released Brian Walker left the band and the line-up was then left as Reg Quantrill, Reg Chant and John Macey. By the time the disc was released in the October of 1967 both Reg Chant and John Macey had also moved on. Reg's full-time job was landlord of the Midland Hotel in Bristol and he found it hard to balance the responsibilities of his 'proper' job with playing in Adge's newly formed group. John Macey just felt that full time work in a 'band on the road' wasn't for him having previously tried and been unhappy with a similar role with Acker Bilk's group. In their absence Pete Shuttler (of 'Yetties' fame), and Ken Scott, stood in until Tommy Banner joined the group on a permanent basis in November 1967 just after the album had been released.
As the sleeve notes and local newspaper coverage make clear this album was recorded 'live' on May 3rd 1967 at the Royal Oak in Nailsea, Somerset - in the same upstairs room as the group's previous album six months earlier. This album was again a great success and although it did not enter the UK album charts EMI were again able to discuss future projects with the band
Like the first album recording session, this was again a lively night with a full crowd, but on this occasion entry was by ticket-only in an effort to overcome the overcrowding experienced then. There is no evidence that this strategy worked!The 'Western Daily Press' reported on the recording of this second LP with their photographer capturing Adge holding court with (on the left) the EMI recording engineers sat at their recording desks and on the right Johnny Macey and Reg Quantrill. Reg Chant is out-of-shot to the right of the group.
All the tracks on this album were previously unreleased with the exception of 'Easton In Gordano ' (side 1 track 1) which had been the B side of a single released in the promotional run-up to the album - the single was actually a straight lift from the album master with the introduction slightly edited - and it is undoubtedly a studio recording rather than part of the 'live' recording session for this album. (The A side of the single was 'I Wish I Was Back On The Farm ' also a previously unreleased track). Unlike Adge's first album this one included six tracks which were not self-penned - although two of these were actually credited to band members John Macey ('Sniff Up Thy Snuff' side 2 track 2) and Reg Quantrill ('Drunk Again ' side 2 track 3 along with John Macey). This album also contained three adaptations by the record producer Bob Barratt: 'The Wild West Show ' (side 1 track 3) - this song is actually a cante-fable with only the chorus sung and is also known under the titles "The Hamburg Show" and "Larry Turn the Crank". The earliest printed text can be found in 'Immortalia' dating from 1927. The second adaptation is 'Freak-Out In Somerset' (side 1 track 6) The adaptation is of the well-known rugby song 'Four & Twenty Virgins' with this version describing the dubious goings on at a freak-out where the participants have been indulging in too much of that Sixties hallucinogenic substance known as scrumpy! 'The Sheriff Of Midsomer Norton ' (side 2 track 4) is credited to 'Detroit'. Until recently nothing was known about Detroit, or Dwayne Detroit as he is believed to have been (as this person wrote several similar songs) but latest research has found this person to be none other than Bob Barratt again - the first of many contributions Bob would make to the Wurzels recorded output over the years. 'Sweet Violets' was recorded by Dinah Shore with Henri René's Orchestra & Chorus in Hollywood, the chorus is even earlier being taken from a song by Joseph Emmet, in his 1882 play 'Fritz Among the Gypsies'. Of these six tracks none were in the set-list repertoire of Adge and the band at the time of the album recording. The remaining six tracks were all self-penned by Adge: Side 1 1. 'Easton-in-Gordano ' Written by Adge in the 1950's this appeared on the demo disc Adge did with Acker Bilk in 1958. It wasn't part of the normal repertoire at the time of recording this album. 4. 'Barcelona Blues' This song was listed as a song title in Adge's 1965 diary but no lyrics were recorded. This album is the first time it makes an appearance, it was not part of the set-list before this album release. 5. 'The Somerset Space Race ' This is a song that appears at length in Adge's rehearsal tapes from 1967. There is no record of it being sung at gigs. The BBC TV news report on the recording of this album shows this song, in part, being performed although interestingly enough it is not exactly the same take that appears on the LP. Side 2 1. 'Moonlight On The Malago ' One of two songs on the album that was being performed regularly at gigs at the time of recording. It is unclear when it was written. 5. 'Avonmouth Mary ' On the evening of the recording of the first LP the audience were given duplicated copies of the song lyrics - 'your ancient and modern sheets' as Adge refers to them on the album - and one song in particular stands out namely 'Swansea Susie'. This recording didn't make it onto any albums unfortunately but was resurrected with slightly different words on this their 2nd LP as 'Avonmouth Mary ' - however it was still on the gig set-list being performed as 'Swansea Susie'. 6. 'The Shepton Mallet Matador ' One of two songs on the album that was being performed regularly at gigs at the time of recording. It is unclear when it was written.
This LP was originally released on the blue/black Columbia label in mono. It was repressed a few times in mono between 1967 and 1979 on the EMI silver-black single and two box labels. It was released in Stereo in 1976 on the EMI silver-black two box label.The examples below and the associated statistics are taken from the collection of Professor Wurzel and represent what a collector should expect to find. For more information on references to matrix information (including information on acetates), vinyl tax codes , album sleeves, singles sleeves, and Columbia album labels, then refer to the Vinyl Collecting Guides on the main menu.
Image Ref. 1 1967 first mono pressing of SX6165, Columbia blue-black label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. No pressings with a master or mother code other than '1' have been found to date. This disc comes in a triple flipback sleeve (1963-1971 style) and normally the crimson EMI advertising inner sleeve type F but can also be found in the previous styles A to E. This pressing's vinyl weight is a hefty 159g giving the record good stability and tone. The luxury goods tax code 'KT' can be seen embossed onto the vinyl on side 1.
Image Ref. 2 Mono pressing of SX6165, Columbia blue-black label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446. No pressings with a master or mother code other than '1' have been found to date.This disc comes in a triple flipback sleeve (1963-1971 style) and normally the crimson EMI advertising inner sleeve type F but can also be found in the previous styles A to E. With no tax code this disc was pressed post December 31st 1968.This pressing's vinyl weight is good 150g, slightly less than the previous example.
Image Not Available 1969 first mono repressing of SX6165 on the silver and black single box label Columbia EMI label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. This disc comes in a triple flipback sleeve (1963-1971 style) and the crimson EMI advertising inner sleeve type F (1968-69).
Image Ref. 31971-1973 mono repressing of SX6165 on the silver and black two box Columbia EMI label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. No pressings with a master or mother code other than '1' have been found to date. This disc can be found in the triple flipback sleeve (1963-1971 style), the double flipback sleeve (1970-1973 style) or the wrap-round sleeve (1973 onwards) - and a crimson EMI advertising inner sleeve type G or the EMI company sleeves H or J. This pressing's vinyl is 145g, mid-range, giving a reasonable sound.
Image Ref. 4 1973-1979 mono repressing of SX6165 on the silver and black two box Columbia EMI label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. This example is a second mother pressing, quite unusual for an Adge record. The outer sleeve is of the new wrap-around design (1973 onwards). This sleeve design resulted in the loss of the information previously appearing on the flaps, so the 'filing' information (previously 'File under STANDARD' and 'Humorous Records' ) and the printer and catalogue reference information (Garrod & Lofthouse etc etc) did not appear. The words 'Garrod & Lofthouse Ltd' only were printed along the bottom edge of the sleeve. The inner sleeve can be of type G to L covering 1973-1980. This pressing's vinyl is 118g, rather lightweight and flimsy, at the lower range for EMI vinyl.
1976 saw a huge resurgence in the popularity of The Wurzels both in chart successes and TV appearances. As a result EMI saw fit to re-release Adge's first two mono albums 'electronically reprocessed to give a stereo effect'. As 'The Gramophone Magazine' reported in December 1976: "Recent feats by The Wurzels in the hit parade seem to have stimulated a revival of material dating from 1966 and 1967 when they were led by the late Adge Cutler, and “Adge Cutler And The Wurzels” (Columbia SCX 6126; TC-SCX 6126) and “Adge Cutler’s Family Album” (Columbia SCX 6165; TC-SCX 6165) were both recorded at the Royal Oak in Nailsea, the heart of Somerset’s Wurzel country. Both contain liberal helpings of what producer Bob Barratt rightly says is “not really pop and not really comedy”, but surely is some latter-day West Country folk music preserving much of the bucolic charm and traditions of the past. Therefore much credit belongs to the memory of Adge Cutler because he wrote all of the songs in the first album and half of those in the second"
Image Ref. 51976 stereo repressing of SX6165 on the silver and black two box Columbia EMI label with the YAX5155 and YAX5156 matrix. No pressings with a master or mother code other than '1' have been found to date. The outer sleeve is of the new wrap-around design (1973 onwards) - design change consequences as above. The inner sleeve can be of type G to L covering 1973 - 1980. In this example the text on 1 has dropped onto the bottom EMI logo box - compare with the next image. The vinyl has the letters 'HTM' in the run-off on both sides. This refers to Harry T Moss. Harry was a respected and long-served mastering/cutting engineer for EMI for many years. He mastered many of the Beatles records and began to include his initials in the lacquer around 1973. His work was greatly admired around the world and produced some very high-quality records.
Image Ref. 6 1976 stereo repressing of SX6165 on the silver and black two box label Columbia EMI label with the YAX5155 and YAX5156 matrix. No pressings with a master or mother code other than '1' have been found to date. As in the previous example 'HTM' initials appear in the run-off on both sides. The outer sleeve is of the new wrap-around design (1973 onwards) - design change consequences as above. The inner sleeve can be of type G to L covering 1973 - 1980. This example is, again, very lightweight at 118g making a rather flimsy record easily prone to warping
All sleeve variations are essentially the same content-wise with just minor changes to filing information, printer etc. with the exception of the 1976 stereo sleeve which was amended to reflect Adge's death in 1974.Version 1: Triple-flipback album sleeve 1967-1971 with laminated front and flaps, mono version original album release. Spine text 'Adge Cutler's Family Album with the Wurzels'
Version 2:
Double flipback album sleeve 1970-1973 with laminated front and flaps, mono repressing.
Spine text 'Adge Cutler's Family Album with the Wurzels'
Version 3:
Wrap-around album sleeve 1973 onwards with laminated front, mono repressing.
Version 4:
Wrap-around EMI album sleeve 1973 onwards with laminated front for the first stereo pressing in 1976.
Spine text ADGE CUTLER'S FAMILY ALBUM WITH THE WURZELS SCX6165
Top Edge text ADGE CUTLER'S FAMILY ALBUM WITH THE WURZELS SCX6165
This new stereo version of the album (the tracks had now been 'electronically reprocessed') had a few minor changes to the sleeve compared to earlier ones - the back of the sleeve was now a shade of yellow instead of white card, the notes were changed to reflect the fact that Adge had died in 1974 and the EMI logo on the front was updated to match that of other EMI albums of the time. The artwork date was change to 7607 (rear bottom right corner) indicating that it was at the typesetters in July 1976.
The front of this latest version of the album sleeve had a revised EMI logo top left of artwork (compare with the image at the top of this page)
Relatively rare copy of 'Cutler Of The West' nicely autographed by Adge - a clear and good sized autograph in blue biro. The album itself is an October 1967 first mono pressing of SX6165 in a triple-flap sleeve.
An example of the first mono pressing of SX6165 from 1967, Columbia blue-black label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. This disc comes in a triple flipback sleeve (1963-1971 style). This item is of particular interest to musicophiles in that it was used to remaster this album to CD in 2009
A rare example of a 'factory sample' variation of the first mono pressing of SX6165 from 1967, on the Columbia blue-black label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. This disc came from the collection of the record's producer Bob Barrett without the standard LP sleeve and as such was most likely a copy given to him for inspection before the record went on sale.
A rare example of a 'factory sample' variation of a later mono pressing pressing of SX6165 dating from 1973, on the EMI silver-black label with the XAX3445 and XAX3446 matrix. This disc came from the collection of the record's producer Bob Barrett without the standard LP sleeve and as such was again, as above, most likely a copy given to him for inspection before the record went on sale.
Very rare 7" 45rpm single sided metal acetate for side 1 track 6. This item came from producer Bob Barratt's collection. With a white EmiDisc label the title and artist appear - handwritten in blue biro - along with the mastering date, 19/5/67, and the play speed (45). This was a test disc produced to check the mastering for the album - it is identical to the album track including the audience participation noises (which was recorded live on May 3rd).
Side 1, Track 1 - Easton-In-Gordano I must go back again-o To Easton-in-Gordano That's the place where I was born On the twenty-first of May I saw the light of day On a bright and sunny summer's morn Oh, the cocks'll be crowing The farmers all a-mowing The birds will sing so merrily For in sunshine or in rain-o Easton-in-Gordano Is the place for I to be I must go back again-o To Easton-in-Gordano To see the old folks there Where the foundry summer breeze Is full of bread and cheese To sniff once more that tangy river air Oh, the lads I'll be seeing There'll be some 'ow bist thee-ing From Sheep House Lane to Portbury And there's no need to explain-o That Easton-in-Gordano Is the place for I to be Oh, I must go back again-o To Easton-in-Gordano Can't stay away no more I shan't be satisfied, Till I'm by the Avon side Standing again, down by the old Pill shore When I get down yonder No more will I wander Far from the Kings Arms or Rudgleigh And there'll no more more complain-o Cos Easton-in-Gordano Is the place for I to be Oh, I must go back again-o To Easton-in-Gordano Down there in the West I've searched the whole land over From John O'Groats to Dover I still say that Gordano is the best Thee can talk of Chewton Mendip Or Burnham by the sea Good old Shepton Mallet or Chipping Sodbury But in sunshine or in rain-o Easton-in-Gordano Is the place for I to be The place for I to be Side 1, Track 2 - Sweet Violets There once was a farmer who took a young Miss In back of the barn where he gave her a lecture on horses, chickens and eggs Told her that she had such beautiful manners that suited a girl of her charms A girl that he wanted to take in his washing and ironing, then if she did I could get married and raise lots of… (Chorus) Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over in sweet violets The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop And she told her Father and he called a taxi and got there before very long For someone was doing his little girl right for a change so that's what he said If you marry her son well, you're better off single because it's been my belief Marriage'll bring a man nothing but… (Repeat Chorus) The farmer decided he'd wed anyway And started and planning for his wedding suit which he purchased for only one buck But then he found out he was just out of money and so he got left in the lurch Standing and waiting in front of the end of this story just goes to show All a girl wants from a man is his… (Repeat Chorus) Side 1, Track 3 - The Wild West Show (Chorus) We're off to see the Wild West Show The elephant and the kangaroo Bring along your Mother, your sister and your brother We're off to see the Wild West Show [Spoken] Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Bly-Bly bird (The Bly-Bly bird? Fantastic ) The Bly-Bly bird lives in the North Pole, and flies around all day saying "Bly-Bly blimey it's cold up yer" And (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] And now Ladies and Gentlemen, at great expense, the Hellawi Tribe (The Hellawi Tribe? Fantastic ) The Hellawi Tribe are pygmies who live in the tall grasslands of Africa, and run around all day shouting "Where the hell are we, where the hell are we?" And (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] And next, Ladies and Gentlemen, we bring you the laughing hyena (The laughing hyena? Fantastic ) The laughing hyena only sees his girlfriend once a year And it's tonight Ha ha And (Repeat Chorus) [Spoken] And now roll up, roll up, for the Oometail bird (The Oometail bird? Fantastic ) The Oometail bird has no legs, and when he comes into land, he can be heard saying "Oooh me tail, oooh me tail, oooh me oooh " And we're off to see the Wild West Show The elephant and the kangaroo Bring along your brother, your sister and your Mother We're off to see the Wild West Show Side 1, Track 4 - Barcelona Blues One fine day I took a holiday, oh back in last September To search for fun down in the sun, t'is well I can remember Far from the rain in the land of Spain, the people all did greet us Fierce toreros and caballeros, lovely senoritas Ole carumba, what have they done to me? I'm all alone-a in Barcelona, 'stead of in Nailsea One fine night I felt a little tight, me footsteps started straying Beneath the stars where they played guitars, and senoritas swaying One said si si I said 'ow it be, I didn't have much money When I woke, I were stony broke, weren't very funny Ole carumba, how lucky can you get? I'm all alone-a in Catalonia, 'stead of Zummerzet! Vino tinto, vino blanco, makes you feel like General Franco Mucho shout-o, mucho gauche-o, manana in the carinosa Ole carumba, how lucky can you get? I'm all alone-a in Barcelona, 'stead of Zummerzet! Side 1, Track 5 - The Somerset Space Race 5-4-3-2-1 Last night I were walking down the Cheddar Gorge Said to me old friend, "What's then George” “Seen a funny sight the other night Like a cider barrel with her tail alight" "Well" said George, "Oh hasn't heard Ter be the Space Programme, sure's me word Say hereabouts that before next June They'll put a cider barrel and in orbit round the moon" (Chorus) Somerset's joined in the Space Race We're all reaching out for the stars Now counting cab or bus we've gotta get there first We'em off, off to Venus and Mars! Thought they'd build a launching pad up Brean Down Cost best part of three half crowns Thought they'd use a pig to try her out Fired'n up to heaven with a rocket up his snout Up! Went the pig in a blaze of light She hit disaster on her maiden flight Came a great sound like the crack of doom For a week it rained chitterling over Templecombe (Repeat Chorus) Simple Sam from Somerton he don't know owt Went and volunteered to be an astronaut Said he'd take his horse and cart every day To collect up the churns along the Milky Way Village Space Committee assembled in the Globe To pick someone to make a lunar probe Said Sam were the bloke to represent mankind Bigger lunar than 'ee, very hard to find (Repeat Chorus) Stogursey and Stogumber, Hatch Beauchamp too Hazlebury Plucknett to name a few Who'll be the first to open a brewery On Venus, Saturn or Alpha Centauri? From Clapton-in-Gordano down to Bridgwater Bay They're waiting for the blast off any day They're holding up a rocket ship with barrels of rough Half a mile of binder twine and a hundredweight of snuff (Repeat Chorus) Now if you're a Russian or if you're a Yank Or even Bernie Lovell from Jodrell Bank You hear noises that you can't trace T'aint flying saucers from outer space You hear voices full of ahh's and arr's T'aint bug-eyed monsters or men from Mars Things ain’t always what they do seem Could be the Charlton Mackrell shove ha'penny team (Repeat Chorus) Off, off to Venus and Mars Off, off to Venus and Mars Side 1, Track 6 - Freakout In Somerset Four and twenty maidens come down from Portishead Long before the sun come up the maidens lost their heads, singing Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night they had the freak out down in Somerset A thousand came by special train from Bristol Temple Meads But going home they all got stoned and ended up in Leeds, singing Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night they had the freak out down in Somerset Hey! Willie Short the dustman brought his daughter Eloise Who couldn't wait to demonstrate spontaneous striptease, singing Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night they had the freak out down in Somerset The village school ma’am she were there, she had us all in fits Jumping off the chandelier and landing in the splits Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night we had the freak out down in Somerset Johnny Macey he was there to do his favourite trick Playing song of India on a B-flat Wurzel stick Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night they had the freak out down in Somerset Wally Dunn the milkman's son toasted Acker Bilk By singing Stranger on the Shore ankle deep in milk Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night we had the freak out down in Somerset At ten to two they served the food, thought I would explode A gallon bowl of toad in the hole, made with real toads Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night they had the freak out down in Somerset At half past two the fuses blew from here to Ashton Park But no one cared they all declared it's better in the dark Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night we had the freak out down in Somerset Break of day t'is sad to say we had to call a stop A passing cowman heard the row and telephoned the cop, singing Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night we had the freak out down in Somerset The Magistrate was really great, acquitted everyone But said next time make sure that I'm invited to the fun, singing Drink up thee cider, no one will forget The night we had the freak out down in Somerset Lyrics Kindly transcribed by M.Pelling & E.BryantVerified by Professor Wurzel
Side 2, Track 1 - Moonlight On The Malago They say there's lovely girls in Manchester Pretty maids in London town I've heard of the lovely girls of Liverpool The sort who never get de down But I don't want a girl from Birnigham * There's pretty 'uns where I do dwell When it's moonlight on the Malago Looking for a Bristol belle I remember Shirley from Shirehampton Then there was Lockleaze Lill Pretty little Jenny from St Georges Gave I me first big thrill We had such lovely times on Mutton Tump Strolling by the Feeder side When it's moonlight on the Malago Looking for a Bristol bride Flirty little Floreo from Fishponds Really swept I off me feet Dirty little Dorea from Downend Made me old heart miss a beat Tall 'uns, small 'uns and skinny 'uns And the fattest 'uns thee's ever seen When it's moonlight on the Malago Every girly looks a queen Fred’ol, Brend’ol and Barbara’ol Used to make I heave a sigh Monical and sweet Veronical Each one I thought the one for I Until I met our Glorio From Bedminster and there's no doubt When it's moonlight on the Malago Glori’ol a and I goes out So, if you ever goes to Bristol town Be sure to follow my advice From Hartcliffe, Horfield or Derham Down You'll find the girlies very nice And if you chance to find a sporting one And you're courting one fine summer's night Show her the moonlight on the Malago And everything'll be all right Side 2, Track 2 - Sniff Up Thy Snuff If you take snuff it surely shows With waistcoat stain and so's your nose But don't 'ee fret, it ain’t so rough No one's been known to die of snuff (Chorus) Sniff, sniff, sniff up thee snuff There's a snuff mine in Yatton got tons of the stuff Now Doctor Wills will cure all ills Without no potions or no pills He treat his patients like himself With an ounce of snuff on National Health (Repeat Chorus) Bride and groom on honeymoon First time alone in double room The bride blushed to her golden locks When groom pulled out his old snuff box (Repeat Chorus) When we get old and turning grey No longer boasting twice a day When time comes round to go to bed We'll take a pinch of snuff instead (Repeat Chorus) Old Dannel King who lived near Chew When he died were ninety-two He took snuff since he were seven So, let us pray there's snuff in heaven (Repeat Chorus x 2) [Sniff sound] Ahhhhhh! Side 2, Track 3 - Drunk Again On Monday night we get dressed up and down the road we go To play a jolly game of darts down at the old Red Cow Double tops and double ones and a twenty-five is scored It's closing time and we add 'em up can't even see the board (Chorus) Oh, we're drunk again, and falling about, we'll end up in the hedge We'll never touch another drop we'll even sign the pledge On Tuesday night we get dressed up and down the road again A tug-of-war with a team from Chew, I think it's gonna rain It's pouring down and we're in the pub, knocking back the beers We're off again come half past ten and it's running out our ears (Repeat Chorus) On Wednesday night we get dressed up and down to Wick we go It's skittles night and we'll all get tight, but we'll beat 'em 'fore we go Hard luck Jack, hard luck Tom, they be our anchor-men More pints went down than skittle pins and it's closing time again (Repeat Chorus) On Thursday night we'em all dressed up and down the road we stroll Tonight, we take the women folk to bingo in the hall The caller's shouting numbers out as he lifts them from the tub He hasn't even noticed yet we've all gone down the pub (Repeat Chorus) On Friday night we're all dressed up, the coach is on its way We're going down to Yeovil town shove ha'penny team to play Shine the discs, chalk the board, the game is underway I wonder if these blokes can drink as well as they can play (Repeat Chorus) On Saturday night we get dressed up and to the dance we go The wives have dragged us all along to do a quick quick-slow Charlie Green, wife Irene are all who danced so far But the only dance we lads do know is a quickstep to the bar (Repeat Chorus x 2) Drunk again, we’re drunk again, drunk again, oop Side 2, Track 4 - Sheriff Of Midsomer Norton (Chorus) Give me a home, where the cider be grown And the wenches are there for the courting Six guns at me side, over Mendip I ride I'm the Sheriff of Midsomer Norton I loved cowboy movies when I were a lad Singing yippee I addy I addle And now when I see them again on TV I long to be back in the saddle From Farrington Gurney to Radstock and Frome Apaches I deal with at leisure I'm quick on the draw, I just shot Maw and Paw And me Grandmother just for good measure (Repeat Chorus) I practice lassoing on my grey-haired wife That's why she's dowdy and dumpy She'd up and she'd out, if t'weren't for her gout And inordinate passion for scrumpy, oh (Repeat Chorus) This morning a cowboy disputed my claim That on six guns there's nobody quicker But me aim went awry, so who wants to buy Three dead pheasants, two hens and the vicar? So now here I languish in old Horfield jailhouse Deprived of my conjugal rights I just asked the Sarge, oy what be the charge? He said parking a horse without lights, oh (Repeat Chorus) He's the Sheriff of Midsomer Norton Side 2, Track 5 - Avonmouth Mary Down where the tall chimneys tower Beneath where the cranes and the derricks look down There lives sweet Mary my flower The pride, of Avonmouth town (Chorus) Oh Mary, I don't know when I'll see Shirehampton again But there's one thing I'm sure The things you've been doing have led me to ruin I'll never see Bristol no more Now it was strolling down Park Street I met her Her eyes they were lovely and black as Welsh coal And though I should've known better Well she took me, body and soul (Repeat Chorus) Now her friends were the town's finest ladies There was Bedminster Bertha and Polly from Pill And a dozen more gin swilling babies Who’d drink, every glass you could fill (Repeat Chorus) Well I thought that to marry I'd ask her And she answered me yes and we planned for the day But she left me for Alaska On a tanker, bound for Bombay (Repeat Chorus) So, beware all you Bristol bound sailors Of the girlies who smile and give you the eye For the ladies of Park Street Are the fairest, that money can buy (Repeat Chorus) Side 2, Track 6 - The Shepton Mallet Matador Now Jacko were so happy, working on the farm With the cows and chickens, he couldn't do no harm For years and years, he worked and scraped and saved To take one day that holiday he craved But now he'll never be the same again Since he took that holiday in Spain [Instrumental] So… (Chorus) Make way for that Timsbury torero Ole for that Somerset senor He's a real West Country caballero The Shepton Mallet matador Now the boys of the village all think it's very queer Oh, the way that Jacko drinks wine instead of beer (didn't like beer anyhow) And they say he's swapped his favourite cider jar For a bottle of sherry and a thirty-bob guitar Oh, oh… (Repeat Chorus) Now the pigs and chicken are kicking up the dirt When Jacko comes waving his old red flannel shirt And he's always chasing round the old red cow Cos, he thinks that he's a real bullfighter now Oh, oh… (Repeat Chorus) Now on the farm if you hear hoots and howls It's Jacko playing flamenco with the fowls And every time he clicks his castanets Instead of eggs the hens lay omelettes Oh, oh… (Repeat Chorus) Now the farmer's missis went wild with delight When Jacko serenaded her last night But farmer stopped him playing Cielito Lindo With a pot of summat he threw from the upstairs window Oh, oh… (Repeat Chorus) The Shepton Mallet matador The Shepton Mallet matador